Ugly Journal II (October 2024-November 2025)

I bought a mystery 3-pack of Ugly Books and this is the second I worked in. I also dragged my feet with working in/finishing this one, partly due to not wanting to journal much but I also struggled with the yellow paper until I got some new acrylic markers around May 2025. The journal documents applying for and getting a promotion, managing impostor syndrome, and trying to find joy in this shit show of a year. Most pages were created with acrylic markers and ink. The pages are organized in the order they appear in the journal.

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A mixed media art journal page with an illustration of stacked cardboard boxes that looked like a fun cartoon character saying everything will be fine... in restrospect. An illustrated art journal page depicting the artist wearing a grey hoodie, blue glasses, and headphones. Handwritten text beside the portrait reads, watching Portrait Artist of the Year and feeling inspired. A mixed media art journal page witn an illustrated self-portrait looking worried next to the words, Just when things start to feel normal. On the other page is an illustration of a bloody hand with lyrics from I Want Blood by Jerry Cantrell collaged over it. A mixed media art journal page with an illustration of myself as a child singing the lyrics to Chewing Gum by Amyl and the Sniffers next to an illustration of myself listening to music in work with words above my head, I can deal with Friday. A mixed media art journal page with illustrations of myself looking worried and scared after an interview next to the words, Stop thinking about it! and Is this fear? A mixed media art journal page with an illustration of myself taking a mirror self looking grumpy next to the words, 4am stomach cramps skeletor hands goblin. On the next page is collaged words in purple that say dread three times. A mixed media art journal page with collaged words in red that say fuck three times next to an illustration of myself looking unimpressed and surrounded by a quote by John Oliver about running on fumes. An illustrated art journal page of the artist taking a mirror selfie with a phone in a dressing room, looking nervous against a pros list on post-it notes. There are collaged mono-printed words that say, time to shine. An illustrated art journal page of a tarot card spread and a woman with her eyes closed in a yellow dress crouching and holding white flowers. The background is collage from discarded gelli prints using ring pulls and walnut shells. A mixed media art journal page with a collage of pink paper and a grey crescent moon, an illustration of a woman in glasses with her tongue sticking out, and bright green doodles. Words say, It would be just my luck. This was originally from a zine I was making. A mixed media art journal page with a collage of colored paper, stamped anatomical hearts, doodled pink flowers, and an illustrated sad looking face in the background. Words say, fix yr. This was originally from a zine I was making. A mixed media art journal page with an illustration of a tan dog wearing sunglasses surrounded by colorful doodles. On the opposite page is doodles of social media icons, technology, and obsolete media that I was testing for a zine. A mixed media art journal page with an illustration of myself testing out Trixie Cosmetics and skeletal makeup for the Ghost concert I was attending. On the opposite page is a drawing of myself as Harmony Cobel from the television show Severance saying, Well, flip my toboggan in a transatlantic accent. A mixed media art journal page with an illustration on the left of my dog staring at me from across the room over my husband's legs. Modified lyrics by Rockwell are above to say, It always feels like some doggy's watching me. On the right is a drawing of a nude woman covered in flowers, pulling her hair towards the sky. Handwriting above her is about gardening. A mixed media art journal page with an illustration of a weird astronaut from an old Monster Magnet zine in tribute to Tim Cronin with doodles surrounding it. On the opposite page is a weird blue monster surrounded by doodles. A mixed media art journal page with an illustration on the left of a bee on Scarlet Bee Balm in my garden with some doodles around it in yellow and pink and some handwriting about gardening and Guy Montgomery's Guy Mont Spelling Bee. On the right is a stern self-portrait with a rainbow on my face. Above me is random doodles and collage in blue and pink, with the word hypernormalization above me. A mixed media art journal page with stamps of black bats next to a tribute illustration of Ozzy Osbourne. A mixed media art journal page with an illustration on the left of patterned watermelon slices against a black background. On the right is a double exposure drawing of a blue woman looking down and herself screaming with the words, What do we do? next to her. A mixed media art journal page with an illustration of myself and my husband all gothed up to see the band Ghost live. The opposite page has ephemera from the concert. A mixed media art journal page with illustrations from my summer including an armadillo at the zoo, a black and white dog, my hand holding a home grown cucumber, a paintbrush painting a wall, a lily growing in my yard, and a woman with flowers on her face. A mixed media illustrated self-portrait with my eyes closed looking exhausted with lyrics from Negative Self Talk by Hayley Williams around me. Next to the drawing is pink blobs with handwritten words in blue that say, Thought I was having a breakdown but was just... A mixed media art journal page with an illustration of a woman pulling a face in a red teletubby costume with a quote about impostor syndrome underneath. The right side has a public radio sticker and a drawing of a black and white dog.
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